Decades ago it was far more common to pack your stuff and leave the family nest at an earlier age; there was a stigma for those who remained living at home, and were shunned by society as a result. These days, with struggling economies and higher costs of accommodation, it’s less unusual to find adults returning to live with their parents, perhaps after losing their job or a failed relationship. For the most part the prejudice surrounding this has died, but there’s still one area where this preconception is just as strong to this very day, and that’s dating. Many singles are afraid to admit that they live with their parents, and it’s true that a potential date might think negatively of anyone for who this is still the case. So we decided to take a look on Reddit to find the answer: is it really an instant deal-breaker if your partner discovers the situation?
Living With Parents: Is It Really Such a Big Deal?
No, it’s not, according to Reddit at least. There are several threads dedicated to this topic, but the general consensus says that under normal circumstances it’s acceptable when someone remains in the family home for a bit longer. “Low 20s?…Who cares, rent is expensive. In almost every other country in the world, nobody bats an eye at this,” says one Redditor. This comment was backed up by several women too, who are OK with it as long they get along with their date’s parents. However, there are some exceptions. Other comments pointed out that the relationship doesn’t work if both parties are home-bound, or the person in question is above 30. In the end, dating while still sharing a place with your parents is not an issue so long as it is a temporary situation.
Hiding Your Affairs
But what if mom and dad are the ones who disapprove your online dating adventures? Unless they are very conservative, it shouldn’t cause too much of a problem. We recommend the honest approach, it is better not try hiding it or being ashamed because they may even end up thinking you are up to something more shady. If they have an issue, explain that finding a partner would hasten the process of moving out, which may win them over. If they are questioning the effectiveness of online dating, there are several sources indicating its success. Who knows, maybe they are willing to support you by paying for the initial subscription just to get you out of their house. However, better think twice before inviting your date over. Unless you are a full-fledged couple, it’s better not to use the family home for romantic purposes.
Give Your Partner the Benefit of the Doubt
But let’s not forget that there is another side to the coin as well. What should you do when it turns out that your date is living with their parents? Hopefully it’s not revealed accidentally in an awkward situation (like in American Pie), because then it’s pretty much a deal breaker. Show some understanding, since most people have a good reason as to why they are staying in their parent’s house. They might be saving for their dream apartment, or their parents need support. Don’t judge a book by its cover, because you could give up an otherwise caring, responsible and loyal person.
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