Online dating is colored by several trends, strategies and approaches, but sadly not all of them are positive. One particularly nefarious act among daters is “ghosting”, a rather cowardly act that, even so, many people are doing time and time again. In short, ghosting is when you suddenly cut all ties with someone you had been dating for quite some time. It’s important to mention that suddenly stopping to reply your partner’s messages in an early phase of the relationship – such as before the first date or after a few chat sessions – doesn’t technically count as ghosting, but it is kind of inappropriate nevertheless. You are a ghoster if you start ignoring your partner after several dates, agree on a date but never appear again or are involved with an exclusive relationship with your partner for weeks before vanishing into thin air.
Ghosting Does More Harm Than Good
Anyone can be a ghoster, it’s not related to gender or age. The theory is that by denying any response, the other person will eventually “get the hint”. Most daters believe that if they slowly back out of a relationship without a word, they spare their partner from the pain of breakup. The truth is, however, that in doing so you only help to brew uncertainty, worry and self-blame in the other. Without a proper reason as to why you seek to end the connection between the two of you, your partner’s going to suffer a serious trauma. According to PsychologyToday, ghostees often feel depressed, disrespected and disposed. This could lead to severe depression, angry outbursts, and the inability to move on.
Just think about it: your partner believes that everything is going well, and then suddenly their happiness falls apart. Obviously they want answers, and not knowing that the romance has ended, they will likely chase after you in order to get things back on track. In other words, ghosting will only bring trouble to you both.
Honesty Is Better Than Ghosting
The real reason why people try slipping away instead of communicating the truth is that they are afraid of direct confrontation. It’s not about the ghostee’s feelings at all: with such reckless abandon, daters choose an immature way to back out from a relationship. But as we pointed out earlier, ghosting can cause serious damage to the other half of a relationship. No matter how unpleasant the confession is, your partner deserves at least a notification. It doesn’t have to be a lengthy or thorough breakdown of the reason – just make it kind. Say something like: “We had a really good time, but I feel that our lives are heading in different directions. Thanks for everything”. Your partner may still feel hurt or upset, but at least you know you acted in a mature manner.
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