Dating violence is described as an abusive or controlling behavior practiced on purpose by someone in order to hurt their partner or scare them into submission. According to statistics, nearly 1.5 million high school students experience dating violence in one way or another, as do 43% of college women. Statistics also show that males can be victims as well, although this is undoubtedly a smaller percentage. Intimate partner violence is often ignored as ‘making a mountain of a mole hill’, stating that the attacker was simply ‘too persistent’ and the victim is just ‘overly sensitive and a prude’. These are completely misguided views that overlook the long-lasting psychological damage this kind of abuse can do. In short, dating violence isn’t a cheeky prank but a serious crime.
50 Shades of Violence
In most cases people associate this behavior with physical acts, however partner violence materializes in more ways than just shoving or slapping your date. It covers acts such as throwing objects during a tantrum, being bossy or constantly jealous, monitoring the other person’s life, sending too many messages, keeping them away from friends, name-calling and pushing to reach the next step in the relationship. But that’s not all. The most damaging aspect of dating violence is when the abuser attempts to force the other into something sexual (kissing, touching, sending nude pics and such). They might keep pressuring the topic and they even resort to emotional blackmailing just to achieve their goal. And when the victims refuse to do so, thats’s when the physical abuse appears.
Dating Violence Is Never OK
We wish to press the issue that it’s never acceptable if someone is cruel or aggressive towards you. As the name suggests, dating violence happens while two people are simply dating, and not during an actual relationship. Because both parties don’t really know each other, victims tend to easily overlook a potentially abusive act by contributing it to alcohol or drug use. However, you must learn to read the signs and be ready to escape a harmful relationship while you can.
Never let your date alienate you from friends and family members, since those are the people who can provide shelter and a place to stay when things get ugly. Always have a working phone with you and don’t share this contact information too early, so they can’t harass you virtually. The same goes for any kind of personal information that could be used against you. When breaking up, have someone by your side to provide emotional support and protection. And most importantly, never give in to sexual advances you’re not ready for and never ever send nude photos.
How to Report Dating Violence
There really is no shame in letting others know that your partner abuses you. It’s not your fault you gave someone a chance and they turned out to be aggressive and manipulative. You are a victim, but you should not let yourself be exploited. The first thing you should do if you experience violence from a partner from a dating site is to cease all contact.
Abusers often feign penance just to win your trust back so they can continue their sadistic games. Be sure to create screenshots of any acts of manipulation during chatting. This evidence will come in handy when reporting the assaulter to the site admins, since your case will be taken more seriously with solid proof at hand. And if the attacker doesn’t stop messaging you and even harasses you in person then immediately contact the police. As mentioned earlier, try to amass as much evidence as you can to prove your case. Hopefully this could help you avoid falling prey to daters with malicious intent.
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