Multi-dating is the process where you set up multiple dates in quick succession. This can be done either online, maintaining a relationship with more than one potential match at the same time, or going on a date with different partners. Multi-dating is very attractive for singles – at least on paper. Instead of spending your time on one single match – and only looking for another if it ends – you are allowed to hold more than one iron in the fire, increasing your chances for success and also saving time. Chatting with multiple potential matches is fine, especially if you’re not going on dates with any of these yet. Though when you go on dates with multiple people of your liking at the same time, you may be left bummed out. Honesty and not overdoing anything are key ingredients to make multi-dating successful.
Shooting Yourself in the Leg
So, what’s the problem with multi-dating? The truth is, it demands much more craftiness and planning from your part than you might think. First of all, dating multiple persons at the same time requires you to remember what your partner told you and what kind of information you shared. Referring to a joke or story you mentioned to Date A, while speaking to Date B, is a recipe for catastrophe. You are forced to backpedal, come up with lies and excuses. Looking back at information from a chat log isn’t an option if you are having an actual date. And believe us: no one takes lightly realizing to be “one among the many”. Long chat sessions and dinner dates also take a lot out from you, and after some time you’ll be too tired, or burned out to bring your “A” game.
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Multi-Dating Done Right
We advise you to be upfront and direct about the purpose of your date, and tell your dates that you are talking and dating other people too. It’s better to be completely honest from the start, as later on you would have to tell your chosen one that you were meeting other people at the time anyway.
Tell your partner that you enjoy their company and wish to learn more about him/her. However, make it crystal clear that just because the two of you met or chat online, there’s not automatically a relationship in the making. Emphasize the “no stakes just have fun” nature of the date. This will relieve some stress from both of you. A direct approach also makes it easier to back out from a relationship, in case you've found someone else more attractive. In the end, multi-dating isn’t about quantity but rather about quality.